confessions of a WoW addict...

so i play WoW way too much, i have known this for a while. it is sad really, the amount of time i have wasted away in front of the computer screen. i make half-hearted attempts to justify my playing time, but there is no excuse. so, i have decided i am gonna play a lot less. there are other things i can be doing, and i will find them. i need to look into paying back my student loans for one thing. i also should look into finding a better job, since i did graduate with a sociology degree in may. there has got to be something i can do besides work in a warehouse filling salon orders. the job pays well, i won't argue with that, but that is all i get out of it. i want to do something meaningful, something that will change the world and make it better for the people living in it. and i certainly won't accomplish that sitting in front of the computer playing WoW 6+ hours a day. screw that game, designed to rob people of their lives and get them addicted to a virtual world. a world that will never give them anything in real life, but will rob them of family, friends and opportunities to improve themselves. the people that create those games are evil bastards, may they rot in hell. i am so pissed off because i have already lost so much time, time that i will never get back. i am also pissed off at myself for being so weak willed to let this game rob me, without so much as putting up a fight. at least not until now. but today i am taking a stand against wasting my life away gaming.

i went running today, it was nice. i ran about three laps around the park and had to stop. i guess i need to get in better shape. even though i was exhausted, i felt good. i had accomplished something in real life, it was not easy but i did it. i intend to keep running, there is no feeling like it. just setting a good pace and leaving the world behind for a while. i get to clear my head and think about nothing and everything, whatever i choose. i don't wear headphones, as i like to hear the sounds of the ebb and flow of nature around me. oh nature, i just love it. people are always searching for ways to be happy and spending tons of money on things that only bring temporary happiness. heck, just pay a few dollars and go to a state park somewhere to spend the day, that will bring happiness. being in nature brings me a sense of peace, returning to nature after living in this ugly, loud city is a great experience. no matter where i find nature, it is always a joy, like going to a place i have never been but somehow it seems so familiar. we are natural beings at birth, we just are made to forget most of the time because nature is viewed through a flawed lens by most in society. it is seen as something to be turned to profit. a vast tract of land is not seen as a beautiful place to visit and relax, but as a place to log for timber, to mine for ore, and once this is done, it is auctioned off to the highest bidder and turned into another piece of the concrete jungle that we call cities. humankind is so ignorant of their best interests, what will we do when we have paved the world in concrete and steel? start selling real estate on the moon and other planets maybe? and then one by one we will destroy them as we have destroyed earth. then there will be nowhere to run, we will have sealed our fate by our own ignorance. we will reap the bitter harvest that we have sown for ourselves through generations of neglect and pursuit of profit. there must be a revolution, a return to the respect and care that people once held for nature. the current generation in power is too far gone i fear, but the up and coming generation still has a chance. while there's life there's hope, at least according to Cicero. i firmly believe that, as long as we can draw breath, we have the ability to affect change and make the world a better place. from now on, i am going to strive for positive change. i may only win small, personal victories, but a victory is still a victory. hopefully along the way, i will gather like-minded friends to help me out. Hurrah for nature!

double double, toil and trouble

/rant on

so i have been giving minimal attention to sports stuff lately and what little i have heard really ticks me off. athletes being paid million dollar salaries, and all of the new draftees being hired with promises of millions of dollars. what the hell is wrong with this country? we are supposedly in the middle of a financial crisis, a recession and yet they are throwing millions of dollars at people to play a game! that is all they are doing, playing a game. games which millions of children across the country play for free every day in backyards, fields and driveways. it is just ludicrous to say the least. that is how it is, and how it has been for the longest time. for too long of a time. the people that provide entertainment for us, actors, singers, athletes, etc are paid huge salaries and bonuses. the real important people, like teachers, law enforcement, fire fighters and more importantly those that deliver mail and pick up our garbage, to name a few, are paid trivial amounts. meh, no point in complaining. people will never see the light and change things. they will try to justify it by saying that movies, sporting events and the like bring in lots of money, blah blah blah. so what, how did those people who entertain us get to where they are? by being taught in school by teachers, and living lives supported by all of the people working in public services.

and speaking of the recession, there are tons of people losing their jobs. millions lost their jobs last year and millions are expected to lose their jobs this year. there are budget cuts coming and guess where they are targeted? for funding of education and public programs. that's right, the most important parts of our budget are being cut. they aren't gonna cut military spending though, nuh uh. they must make sure we have plenty of weapons and vehicles to kill people with. we must be able to protect ourselves from an imagined enemy and keep paying huge amounts to military contract companies instead of taking care of our people. maybe it is a ploy by the government to encourage enlistment. i mean hey, life sucks, but if you join the army etc, you get guaranteed pay, a place to live and food to eat. you get your education paid for and money to spend on whatever you want (just hope that you aren't killed in combat before you get to collect on the offer). more craziness, that is all i can say, plain insanity.

as if this junk wasn't bad enough, there are outbreaks of swine flu worldwide. not too serious yet, as in it isn't killing many americans so it doesn't matter obviously. but many people in other nations are getting sick and dying. there may be a pandemic declared soon, i hope something can be done. i have read a few articles about it and it seems to be a result of the change in animal raising practices. instead of thousands of farmers raising hundreds of pigs, hundreds of farmers are raising hundreds of thousands of pigs. they are kept in close quarters and not allowed to roam free. they are injected with tons of antibiotics and fed who knows what. the antibiotics leads to mutation of the viruses they carry, and the close proximity of living quarters results in it spreading quickly. the same things happen in other food animal raising operations, like beef and chicken. mass production of mono-crops and a reduction in diversity is another huge problem. there are thousands of varieties of fruits and vegetables available, but we only get what is most convenient to grow in mass quantities. for instance, there are about 1000 species of bananas, 7500 species each of tomatoes and apples and at least 100 species of lettuce. that is only a short list, as there are many more that could be listed. bah humbug i say! the only way things will ever change is when we the people finally get sick and tired of all the mess and revolt. we need a revolt of all the people, people of every gender, race and ethnicity to band together. after all, we are all in this together, no matter what divisive politicians and analysts say. that was the ideology that helped keep people down after the civil war. hopefully, people have learned a lesson from the past. as george santayana said, "those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it".




/rant off

make like a tree...

i sometimes ponder what it is like to be a tree. to stand there with your arms and hands raised high and your feet firmly planted in the earth. to exist as a mute, stoic witness to the follies and foibles of humanity. to see the birth and death of generations and the rise and fall of civilizations. at least for the lucky trees, those not thoughtlessly cut down by people for some other use besides their natural intent. do trees laugh, do they let out a low rumbling chuckle at our futile struggle to subjugate nature to our demands? do they shudder as we engage in war over pieces of land that we have no claim to? as we destroy each other and the world to claim supremacy, as we explode bombs and missiles do they feel the fear and pain of the earth? do they mourn the loss of other trees and parts of nature to our ideology of progress? i wonder if they feel gladness when even one human decides to fight for nature. do they cheer for the radical environmentalists that chain themselves to trees and fight against the corporate exploitation of nature? i hope so. i will never know what goes on in the mind of trees, but i hope so.

i think this is why i have always been fascinated by and with trees. they are all so lovely and marvelous. i love trees very much, they just are the most wonderful thing in the world to me. if i could, i would take a tour of the world. not to see the cities and arts created by people, but to see the trees and forests of the world. there are some magnificent trees in the world, i have looked through a picture album of many of them and was utterly enchanted by their beauty. old trees are the best, the ones that have lived for centuries and just grown huge and stalwart. this is also why i like writings by j.r.r.tolkien so much. he includes a lot of writings about nature and trees. one day, one day i will go to see the wonderful trees of the world. until then, i will have to make do with pictures.

'tween a gun & a camera

so, i have been debating for a while now what to buy if i ever save up money. i have narrowed my choices down to either a gun or a camera, and i dunno which i am gonna save for. they both cost about the same, for a decent one anyway. they both shoot things, i just have to decide if i would rather be able to shoot pictures or people. not that i plan on shooting people mind you, it would be purely for defense purposes. so i dunno, i will continue the inner monologue until i make a decision.

well sean left for the mtc monday morning, and i miss him. i know i never saw him much anyway with me working and being in school, but still. anyway i know he is gonna do fine and enjoy himself in Peru for the next two years. wow, i am getting old, my youngest sibling is twenty now. heck, my son is gonna be eleven this year that is crazy. time really just flies by and before you know it your kid is all grown up.

i had a pretty good day today, i went on a field trip with my sociology 360 class to turtle cove environmental research center. we got to go out into pass manchac and the waterways around there in a boat and see nature and some wildlife. the biologist giving us the tour talked about the danger louisiana is in and has been in for so long concerning its coastline and environment. basically, companies and corporations have been allowed to rape louisiana of its natural resources for too long and we have done nothing about it. our state has such natural beauty in its waterways, forests, swamps, etc and many people do not even care. money is the prime concern, and nature is destroyed along the way. i fear that by the time the people of louisiana finally start to do anything it will be too late, it may already be too late. then all we will be able to do is mourn for what we once had and chose to squander away for some quick profit. it will be a real shame to say the least.

after the wonderful field trip, we went back to the main building and examined a few water samples we had taken. the microscopic stuff we saw moving around in the water looked like it was straight out of some science-fiction movie. it was just crazy and very interesting.when we were done with that a few of us went to middendorfs for lunch, it was very good. well, my waitress forgot about bringing me my water until i was almost done eating. and not wanting to be pushy i didn't say anything. but other than that, the food was delicious, i highly recommend it.

think happy thoughts?

so it seems to me that i might have come off a little harsh in my criticism the other day. my criticism about people taking part in the green/organic movement were meant for those who aren't sincere in their activity. those who actually care are fine by me, i just don't like people who only do it because it is trendy or treat it as a fad. anyway enough about that.

school is really flying by this semester, i am already over 1/2 way done. i am a little stressed out at the moment as i have a lot of papers due before it is all over. well, maybe not a lot. i have 5 due, so it is a lot to me. i am worried that i may be cutting it close in one class. i forgot about a paper that was due and got a 0. the rest of my classes i should do well in. my problem is that i hate writing, which is a serious character flaw in sociology. another problem i am facing this semester is just a lack of motivation. i find it hard to do anything for class. i don't want to study, i don't want to write, i just feel melancholy about school. this is bad bad bad! i need to graduate and get out working full-time. hopefully i will be able to pull myself out of this funk and get my work done.

speaking of working full-time, i hope that i can find a job that i like. the current job that i hold serves its purpose of providing income, but it just is not what i enjoy doing. i want to feel happy about going to work and feel fulfilled when i do my job. standing around in a warehouse filling orders to be shipped out by ups trucks is not what i want to do for the rest of my life. but as i said, it pays the bills so i am gonna stick with it until i get a better offer. considering the present financial situation of this country, i am grateful to even have a job. i know other people aren't as lucky as me to have a job, many thousands have been let go. i feel sympathy for them, and do not envy the troubles they are facing with unemployment. i wish them the best and hope that the country can pull out of this slump and recover.

so what can be done for the needy people in our society? what can be done for the needy people of the world? i get very upset at the tremendous level of inequality in the world. a small percentage of people living lives of immense prosperity and consumption while the great majority of people in the world live in abject poverty. every time i see some story in the news about some wealthy person living their extravagant lifestyle, about some celebrity dropping hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars on their ridiculous rampage through the world it angers me. how can they live that lifestyle and be oblivious to the immense level of suffering around them? are they even oblivious, or do they purposefully ignore the plight of the destitute people? i believe the latter is probably the most realistic. i have learned about the great men of the last few centuries in school and how, after they had lived a long life and become immensely rich, they decide to be philanthropic. many of those men spent the majority of their early years ruthlessly pursuing wealth and power and exploiting the less fortunate. they eliminated all opposition and participated in horrible travesties. it seems to be almost a deathbed confessional to me. they start to see their mortality made manifest before their eyes and wish to right the many wrongs by doing good. they build a library and fund a few public works projects and they think all is well. death can be a sobering prospect methinks. it is the one equalizer in the world, the one thing that we will all experience regardless of our station in life. no matter what wealth, power and status you achieve in life, you lose it all the day you die. so why horde wealth and begrudge others a share?

i have had the opportunity to view a few films with an amnesty international group on my campus. the videos were about the less fortunate people of the world, child soldiers and exploitation on a level that most people have never seen. but even though the videos rocked me to the core, i still haven't done as much as i could to help alleviate the suffering of those people. i have gone on about my life, and started to forget them. i have forgotten what i saw, what i heard, what i learned. i am going to see another video on wednesday that will help to refresh my memory and strengthen my resolve to make a change in the world. i hope many other students come to see it, the attendance has not been very large with the other videos. i think the problem is that people fail to see the connection we have to each other. they fail to understand that we are all human beings and are linked together due to this. just because we may appear different from each other on the outside does not mean that we are not the same. people must realize that any injustice enacted in the world hurts not only the victim but all people. if injustice is allowed to happen and we do nothing, what is to stop it from happening to us? who is to stop it from happening? if we ignore others in their time of dire need, and if they are able to survive somehow, what would make them want to help us? nothing...

reality bytes

society bugs me, a lot some days, although it didn't use to be that way. there was a time, when i was growing up that i thought all was right with the world. once i decided to go to college and further my education, things changed. i happened to enroll in a sociology 101 course to as part of my social science requirement, and wow. i changed my major the following semester from biology to sociology and i have never looked back. sociology studies have turned out to be a double-edged sword for me, a sort of bittersweet experience. i have gained a great deal of knowledge and learning about society and what is really going on. this has served to peel off the pretty embellished facade of our world, and revealed the ugly disheveled foundations beneath it. things are not great, they are not okay. for too long i have believed that and i have been in the dark. there is so much injustice in the world, so much inequality that it is depressing. this exists not only among people, but with the natural world too. we mistreat others and we mistreat our planet, both of which are going to lead to serious consequences for us all if it does not stop.

so what do we do, or more importantly what can i do? with the immense burden of injustice looming over us, i am thoroughly discouraged. how can i , just one person, do anything to make a change? how can i not at least try? i know now that there is a problem and i feel that i must do something, but what? i think that all we can do is what we are capable of. we must set attainable goals and be sure not to reach beyond our means. that would result in frustration and contempt i think. i have made up my mind to do what i can, i have participated in lectures and groups that share my goals and views on the present state of society. doing these things has made me feel useful and helped me to see that i can make at least a small difference in my area. i also talk to other people what i can and do my best to help them understand what is going on. we must spread the word about positive things we can all do, both in our private home life and in the public business world.

i know that lately businesses have caught on to the green movement and the organic movement. it seems that there is nothing that is good that cannot be twisted or tainted to serve the needs of capitalism and consumerism. they are now making more organic products and using more ecological manufacturing methods, but they are making you pay for it too. they have commodified organic and green products so that it can now be used to display your status. you obtain all of these products not for their positive and healthful benefits, but to show that you have the wealth to splurge on them. they are nothing to you but a means of showing off. while other people, due to a limited income, shop at places like wal-mart and get mass produced high-calorie, low-quality foods, you can go to a health food store or an organic market and buy your groceries. instead of saying "look at my mercedes and my rolex" they say "look at my solar panels and my electric car". i could go on and on about this, but i won't. i am sure you get the picture.

the worst part about all of the mass produced goods flooding our markets is the toll that they are taking on our world and its people. factories and production is outsourced to third world countries to exploit the cheap labor and lax regulations to maximize profits. the growth of mass production of mono-crops that has depleted our land and polluted our waterways with fertilizer runoff. these things have been going on for decades and will probably not end any time soon. all of these things are building up and building up, and i don't know how much more our mother earth can take. we need to spread the awareness of our earth and our connection to it and each other.

I'll end this entry by quoting a favorite passage of mine from the poet John Donne: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

ugh...sleep

i hate not being able to sleep. i woke up at around 4am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. i laid in bed for about 30 minutes and then decided to get up, since that was getting me nowhere. i then thought, "hmm since i am awake i will shave", so i did. i tried to go back to bed after that, but gave it up as a lost cause. so... i got on facebook and wasted a little time. i also popped up ares (my p2p file sharing app.) and listened to some tunes in my playlist. i wish i could sleep, but i find it almost impossible unless i pop a few sleeping pills. i used to be able to sleep easily, i could fall into bed about 9pm and sleep all night. i think it is my job that has ruined me. it keeps me up until early morning, i have worked until 6am some nights. so that totally screwed up my sleep cycle or something i am sure. i wonder if i could sue them for sleep deprivation and emotional distress...hmm sounds like a winner to me.
so anyway, i was trying to let my facial hair grow out a bit as i figured i could do something interesting with it. i figured wrong. i just don't have the right genetic makeup for it i guess, it just looked scraggly and sad. i could probably get a workable goatee from it, but i digress. that would be cool though, maybe i could braid it and tuck it into my belt like the dwarfs from the hobbit. that would take alot of time to grow though. and i don't think the wife would like it. so as i said earlier, i shaved it off. i am letting my hair grow out a bit though. i have kept it shaved for a long time. it is just easier to manage if it is short, no need to brush it. it also happens to be a little cooler, at least when the wind blows. i may just end up shaving it off again, it depends. the wife likes is short, so at least she will be happy with it. well, it is getting close to the time that my first class starts so i need to head out. hmm, not bad for my first blog post if i do say so myself...which i do.